I was in class, as usual trying to sleep, but something did turned my mind came outta the class and wrote my mind.

LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!what is love ???????? as a matter of fact I dunno the meaning?.. I mean its vague, any one can define it in their own way. Its like liquid, which takes the shape of the container. So here container is the person who defines it. It is the best definition I can put. No one really knows what love is and what it is all about. Every one feels it, every one talks bout it and blah blah blah blah???????.. but do the people really understand the meaning ??????????????? I dunno. There are lotza stories bout love, so called love sotries like Romeo and Juliet, Heer and Rajha. Ram and Sita, Radha and Krishna and yada yada yada yada yada??????. I can go on. But all of them has a similarity, none of them lived happily ever after or did they ???????? I don?t think so. Love hurts, its pain in back, it keeps on hurting and still u want it, but Y ?
Someone has said, dunno who ?????? but said, love is to give not to take, Love is to lose, not to win. Is it true ??????????might be, all the storied above suggests that this statement is true. Y am I explaining all these????????????? Khai ? love is illusion, confusion, delusion, fallacy and wat not ? it is more vague and vast than universe. *study universe and study love* I got the choice, I choose I study universe, it is easier to study in comparision. Mahadev (god of all gods) had carried the dead body of his wife all around the world for years (this is just a belief, but might be true as well), that is love. And after sometime, married different girl, that was also love. Which one was true ??????? Both !!!!!!!! Well I was in love some time ago. I would say long time ago. I still dunno, was that a true love, or infatuation or sexual attraction or physical attraction or ?????
How do people know bout true love ?????????????? I sacrificed a lot for a girl and what did I get ????? nothing. A rejection after some time. People say there shouldn?t be any expectation in love, ok, great, but is it true in real life ?????? Hell noooooo People are very selfish, every one is selfish.

******************************************************
I wold like to set what I have written as a background of the story. But i need your comment and suggestions. Open to comment and debate.

harkeDai

sorry:

जीन्दगी बाढिमा डुबेर बगरमा हुत्तिइसक्यो
भैगो नेपजी अब नगरौ सम्वाद मायाको

"Love" is not a complicated thing at all but "relationship" is. I guess there is a distinct difference between "love" and "relationship" which people often get mixed up into.

"Love" cant be rejected but "relationship" can be.
Failure in relationship is "not" necessarily a failure in love.

well....harke dai!!
seems like u do knew bunking classes were to bunk ur future nd abt me doing tht yes i have done ..a lot.. while studying in school nd coll. too.
U were so blind with ur crush that u liked changing ur grp ..nd bunking the class. but now seems like u r regreting..which IS UR VERY WEAK PT.
Dont do the things that makes u regret later on. nd when u do it have trust in urself that u wont regret it later in ur liffe.. its where we fail in our life.
U changed ur grp just to see her..u bunked classes to have aglance of her..nd u had it !! so why do u feel u sacrified a lot fr her? what r u regretting fr?

love and relationship is not connected?? how can that be possible....reject relationship and you are rejecting someone's love

I think tht you cannot reject anyone;s love.. love is just there .. so abstract...by rejecting someone...u r showing ur unwillingness to be in a relationship..how can anyone stop others from loving them?? u don't invite it nor u can get away with it....love is just like air..it comes n u can just feel it like a gentle breeze of air... soft n serene..n so pure....its there so its not an illusion or confusion.. sorry got carried away... but i should stop here!!

And the debate goes on!!! he he he

Sami, howdy,
I am notregretting sweety. I am realizing, that I should not have done that.
That's the whole point to bring it here in sajha. Is love illusion, that makes u run towards it. Y is that, people loose control over themselves when in love. Its not weak point sweetheart, its all about realizing ur mistake or I would say, break out from the illusion.
Jaanam samjha karooooooooooooooo.

Ok here is the new one sweety, read it.

*******************************************************************

Every thing set to go, was wat I thought. But life is not easy and getting wat u want is more difficult. I would be thinking myself as the happiest person on earth, bunk a class and break a frenship with my pals was not a pain for me???.is it a pain??????? Yea it is, I nearly missed my last period every freakin day, I am thankful to my frens who helped me to cover the course?.. I can never forget their help, what did I do in return ??????? I left their group for a girl???wasn?t I selfish, is that a frenship???????? If I cannot be a fren how could I be a boyfren???????
You need more commitment to love someone, u need to be more caring, u need to be more loving to love someone. BUT the biggest thing is I loved a girl and no one cares for all those things until u realize wat u r missing and wat is it like being without frens and pals. I was not in the best position to be a chief justice and judge on wat is good or no. After all I was in love????. man can?t believe it. It was a very different feeling. To be in love is awesome, u don?t care for the god damn world. Who cares, is the only thought revolving ur head. I say head now coz u r like nearly brainless when in love. I was not one of the best students in class, teachers liked me, loved me. Dunno y ?????? but they always showing some kinda concern for me. It?s a great pleasure to be in a big school and be known and called by name by nearly all the teachers including principal. But u don?t like it in school, every one knows u and ur school records. And bunking class in those situation was definitely not the best thing to do. Same thought?????. Who cares???.. I don?t, after all I have to met my girl every day. Dunno if she also wanted to meet me, every day. She never waited for me, she never bunked classes for me. She didn?t broke her frenship for me. I did, so I was the only interested in meeting her. Meeting?????.it was not even meeting, just a smile and hi, and that*s it. Waiting for her school bus. A smile and hi and byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee??????. Isn?t that crazy?????? Yea it is, but I loved to do that. I did every thing I did only for that smile, hi and bye. I think now and it doesn?t make sense but those days were different. I could have killed myself for that smile for that hi and bye.

harkedaju......nicely said (y). tapai ko kuro malai ekdamai maan paryo....saachi.

yar, daju....afno ta pc bigre ra....khattam bha cha. aailey lib. bata tapai ko thread phaddai :(....k bho k....format garnu parla jasto cha :s. baru yeso.....giv me a call ;)....kuro garnu thyio tapai sanga about the connection :(. malai ta eek damai dhuka lage ra ko cha....sarai na. saachi....not kidding.

aani, tapai ko kaam pani gareko chyina....pachi gare dinchu hai, daju. tara, garnu chai gare dinchu. aali, tyam lagcha hai?

laa ma gaaye, bell lagyo :(...kasto wakka lagcha..class ma janu, tara gaye ra sutney ta ho ne:D majja ley

la ta laterz
pease ;ut

Harkedai..........
how come you never told the girl you were in love with her......
if you had then you probably would have had to go through all the trouble...
but anyway you got your hi and the precious...maybe at that time ..that was enuff for ya...
lovely story...
too bad it didn't turn out good for ya though

no way broda. thanx for reply. K ko connection broda. Wateva. Gimme ur number and will sure call ya hai ta.

AeutiKt, the most difficult think is to Propose a girl. U r scared to hell. Scared of rejection. Scared to loose a fren. Scared to say that u treat her not only as a fren but also u wanna be her someone special. I dunno Y but believe me it does happen. Very few people can dare to propose a girl right on face. Not because they don't have guts to do that but becase they are scared of something unknown.
Thanx for the comment on the story. I yet dunno wat I will do in the future. Well lets c. K k huncha tyo sanga.

Finals are coming, papers are due. So alik time laagcha hola propose garna.



harkeDai

guys you better watch out some girls are only about that thing...

girls you know you better watch out some guys some guys are only about that thing...

Wow harkeydai, you are full of surprises how nice. :) Good luck

Thanx roseeeeeee. Its my pleasure to make u surprise. re kya.

hahahahahaha

Tara yeuta kura kya, Y r u surprised ni ?


harkeDai

I think I am very premature about LOVE. I do not know how to make love and I do not even know what LOVE is.

My experience is that love is an abstract thing, it never exists. It happens spiritually and ends in the same way. Nobody knows who loves whom, even the mates they say they are loving. DIVORCE is LOVE because it is preferred to do so and LOVE is DIVORCE because it is inevitible by some means.

I liked drearz's definition of love.
Yup, love is in the air but you can feel it only in spring. During summer, it vaporizes due to warm weather and during winter if freezes. So, spring is the best time to love.

"AeutiKt, the most difficult think is to Propose a girl. U r scared to hell. Scared of rejection. Scared to loose a fren." harkedaju said
daju, baal matlab. i can understand how u felt, i mean u might be thinking that if u propose bhauju then she might reject u. but, before propsoing tell her that u are going to tell her something and tell her not to be mad or break the frenship. after that if she says to tell that and she really wants to know it then....the answer will be YES, and if she says: wats there to break our fren, no i wont be mad. then, leave it.

anywayz, dont get scared broda, ma chu ne. if u need some motivation or anything...just ask me. i hav 110 ways to propose. but, i never tried;).

aani, about the connection.
ghar ma internet connection nai chyina. i dunno wat the *uck happened...the messenger or int. explorer says u dont hav net connected. but there is a green lite on on my ucking modem. i m reallly pissed.
aailey ta lib., aaba ek chin ma class suru huncha. wakka lagcha.....kasto nindra nindra lage ra ko thyio....tesai ley...sajha ma aaye ko.
mero # chai: 860-pach cha ek - ek aath char sath hoina.

la...ma gaaye...wakka lagyo...ek nindra sutnu paryo..... :0

anywayz, dont get scared broda, ma chu ne. if u need some motivation or anything...just ask me. i hav 110 ways to propose. but, i never tried>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Bro, u never tried and u r asking me to try it, Oh man, pahila aafu try gara, ani see the result and after that I might think bout doing that ni.

aaba ek chin ma class suru huncha. wakka lagcha.....kasto nindra nindra lage ra ko thyio....tesai ley...sajha ma aaye ko.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Good job broda. Class bhaneko nai sutna ko laagi ho. Jo class ma sutcha tesle unnati garcha. Ma pani class ma sutna nai jaane ho, padhera pani koi thulo bhako cha ra, ki kaso ?

So, spring is the best time to love.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Very true, tehi bhayera ta spring ma nai garna laako ni. Summer aaunu bhanda agadi nai.
summer alik suru bhai sakya chaina ni.


daju, baal matlab. i can understand how u felt, i mean u might be thinking that if u propose bhauju then she might reject u.>>>>>>>>>>>
Thank god, some one understands me, tara wrong person kya. hahahahahaha, lol bro nahasau na. Timro inspiration le, ma propose garchu, tara aaja ta fursad chaina, monday exam cha kyara, weekend ma heram k huncha. Milyo bhane garula ni propose pani.

fear of being rejected is one thing.....but still sometimes it's good to know the answer rather than try and try and try.....for nothing and feel bad about it at the end. now if you're not gonna complain about it at the end then it's a different story.

LOVe..............................like it says......mutu ko chot, dimag ko booj ani sochai ko dosh, hamra baje le bhante sawan ma aakha futeko goru lai sadai hariyali.........maya, causing a damage of brain cells making lovers blind blaming love is blind. Aba kasari love abstract noun as english pundit has said could be blind......................dont make sense to me.., Love is like scramble egg in morning mixed with milk, salt and pepper. Just gives your stomach hold on till u have proper lunch. Once the lunch has been obtained then why shuld u care about breaki.............this is love. LOve is illusion which dont want to be explored..........if u explore it and flash the secret then u dont have right to live in this planet called earth. May be mars was once populated and they realised the meaning of love by every inch and in out. Today, there is no population in mars coz they got it all................as said by ajambari baba, done PHD in philoshopy. He has long beard and chilam in hand. He says he is from good family and understood meaning of life to be jogi............this is love for what is he doing? atleast he has his destiny and know what he want out of life? tha is love for life.......................which u take once.
there is a love of multicelluar organism like human evolving with single cell.............it is a proud and selfish love......
Love kissing one in public, holding hand and then smile looking at each other eye............Can it be love? what is infatuation? blah blaha blah......om karam vindu sayuktam nityam dhyam tiyo geena, kaam ma dam mocha dam chaiba , om karaye namo namo............Yani ke.........(OM YESTO ANTIM VINDU HO JASMA SAMPURNA 5 ELEMENTS AAYERA TUNGINCHA, JAS KO PACHADI ARU KUNAI AAKAR CHAINA......JASLAI SADAIBA BUJNE PRAYAS LE MATRA PANI MAANISH KO JINDGAI KAAM, KRODH RA MOHA BATA BANCHIT HUNCHA, HEY OM KAAR JO AFAI MAA NIRAKAR CHA.......TES KAAR KO JAYA JAYA)...........THIS IS love coz u r not one of the guys who is into hydrophonix nor attent botanical class( gaza course) everyday in circket ko field................Love is to chill...........love is to dance on pill then saying dyamm who is this gal sleeping next to me..........End it is not love which is chill pill............love is kill bill...........reveange........not that as well..........love is library with full of stories which make u cry and which make u laugh.............no either......yes as well..........then what is love? is it the wave from ocen hiting the shore like crazy barbarians to knock the wall of fort...........
Whatever it is let it be? it is beyond and impossible for us to know what it is?
love is like my language ........................some ppl hate it, some find it weird, some find it pot head, some find it philoshopy, some found it lack of vocabulary and good english.................but i dont care like.......love dont care......this is what it is complicated and sophisticated......thats why i love love

Fear of being rejected is one thing.....but still sometimes it's good to know the answer rather than try and try and try.....for nothing and feel bad about it at the end.>>>>
yup it is good to know the answer, but the fear always remains, what would u do, if she rejects. I think, human beings are always afraid of rejection and when it comes to girls then enxiety goes high. Its better to be frens than to be rejected, at least u get somethin ni, its better than loosing a fren. You will get the answer but if its no, u will loose her, completely.
(it is just a feeling that people might have)

MM broda, thanx for your valuable suggestion bout love. Your experience and philosophy definately counts here buddy.

*******************************************************************

That went on for a quite a time. Every day, see her, say hi and bye with a big smile. That?s not what exactly looking for, but something is better than nothing. Well, at least I can see her smile and hear her voice. After all, teenages are like that, u dun think what u r doing and don wanna think bout the result. I dunno wat it is that I wanted. She was my girl next door, and it is difficult for me to talk with her. I dunno, is that wat happens with every one?????????????? Or is that only me, who has to face that difficulty. Why was I so nervous in front of her ???????????? every day I would say to myself, I would tell today, that I love her, but every day, the words would stuck on my throat. I could not speak a word in front of her. I would just watch her, a little smile and that?s it.

Days were passing in this way, I passed class 9 and its now the time to hit the nail, no matter what I do with my school and with my classes, I cannot screw up my SLC. It is the iron gate in our education system, education system only???????? Hell no, it is same with our society. Our society won?t accept u, if u fail SLC. That?s an embarrassment for every one. Every one has expectation from me. Teachers, parents, friends not to mention other relatives, they are the watchdogs. They know ur result before u know it. They know ur SLC symbol number, they seriously do. I dunno Y they are so much concerned about others but they are. It was now time for me to forget bout every thing and prepare for the ?grand final.? It was a pain in back for me. Well I believe it is for every one if u attend total of 90 days of class in ur 9th grade. And I was also not among the sharp knife in the drawer?????. I would say, blunt and rusted knife. I completely ruined my 9th grade, I always had a sword hanging on my head, when it comes to my studies. I still dunno how I passed class 9. I did, that was a surprise for me and still is. The situation was, I had to start every thing from scratch now, with my studies. Every day I thought, I have to do better this year. Better ?????????????? only better is not enough, I have to do lot better, better than the best just to pass SLC. Scary thought for me. I have to take more tuition, have to attend class every day, have to work three times more than I used to. No problem, I can do that???.its not a big deal. But the biggest problem is, I have to miss my girl next door, and miss her for a long time at least I cannot see her smile before my finals are over. I don?t have no choice than to miss her. I will miss her, for a long time.